*MY* convention writeup

[KIERAN A. LAVIN]

JGY wrote:

> Can you please shut the hell up about the damn drinking?

Sure, after I tell you how much I drank.  Thursday night I think I had 4
or 5 Guinness.  Then Friday night I helped polish off two 12-packs of
beer after drinking two Long Islands at the free bar.  Then Saturday I
probably grabbed 4 or 5 or 6 shots that Mike and Rob were supposed to have
been drinking but decided not to.  I also had probably about 7-10
Guinness.  I think I also had another 2 or 3 assorted beers.  Then Sunday
I had a couple beers at the picnic.  After the picnic, I had a Long Island
at the restaurant and we went back to finish off the beer I had bought
Friday night so I had another 3 beers or so.  I'm drinking right now in my
boxers after coming home from work (is that visual enough for you
Jason... or should I get more graphic? :P

> .....how sophomoric

That's my middle name!

> for all of us over the age of 20, it is easy and legal to obtain alcohol
> and become intoxicated........

Not for me... I'm on parole

> If you are going to talk about getting altered, at least make it
> somewhat unusual.

Ok, Saturday night with all the drinking... I'll tell you all the crazy
stuff that happened.  First of all, there was a lesbian convention staying
at the hotel with us.  Remember in Dallas we had the cheerleading
convention... it was even better!  Somehow Rob Cadle convinced all the
lesbians to switch over for the night.  I don't know how you did it
Rob!  Remember how I said Ray, Joe, and I took turns taking showers?  Well
we were all so plastered we forgot to take turns.  And we were also so
plastered we forgot to take our clothes off.  Oh yeah, we forgot to go
back to the room too.  And we forgot to get up out of our seats at the
patio.  As we were sitting outside, Sarah fell off the lightpost she was
sitting on.  And when she hit the ground she melted; it was wild!  Then,
as the bar downstairs was closing and we were heading upstairs to some
rooms, aliens came along and abducted Mike Kojima.  Believe it or not, he
was replaced with a pro-Honda clone.  Ask Mike anything about Nissans and
he'll tell you Nissans suck.  See Greg, that wasn't Guinness on your
shirt, that was alien goo.  Then, toward the end of the night, the entire
city of Phoenix dissapeared off the map.  It was the weirdest thing, no
one could get in and no one could get out.  I don't know what happened!

> Heck.....write about something interesting............anyone roll on E
> at the convention?

Yeah, I wrote about that... afterward on Monday we were driving to the
Grand Canyon and Matt's car ran out of gas... so he rolled on E for a
while

> anyone doing lines of coke?

No, we were thinking about it.  But we all heard you would be there
shortly so we were waiting for you to show us how it's really done.  All
we could find was powdered sugar

> how about heroine?

Does the hooker count?

> any huffers?

Only after I ran up the stairs

> ......how about puff puff give?

Uh, no comment... there was plenty of puffing but not much
giving... someone was hogging!

> 3 days of hashing back and forth about this is very old

No it's not!  Mike, how you feeling?  I'm feeling great.  I couldn't
believe how well I was feeling considering the shit I put in my body that
night.

> p.s. Ben Davis didn't make me write this

He might not have made you write that, but he made me write my response

kieran